I believe that no one escapes childhood without trauma. Even those who come from loving homes with both parents present still got hurt feelings in school, or had some cherished item destroyed by a sibling. So the journey to healing is a life-long one.
I come from a broken, alcoholic home. My mother married and divorced multiple times, and though I would visit my birth father, I didn’t spend a lot of quality time with him. Because of this I never really felt safe, and looked to others for my sense of worth.
I made many painful decisions in my life, following in my mother’s footsteps, searching for (self) love in toxic relationships until it all came to a head in April of 2017. I was pregnant and had just left a career with a large salary, and woke up to the news that my (now ex) husband had been arrested. I had some relief, as his erratic behavior the week prior was alarming and volatile, and I had been extremely stressed and afraid during that time. The charges against him were massive, and I had some decisions to make.
I realize now that I was experiencing a tower moment. Everything around me was shaking and crumbling and falling apart and I had a decision to make: Give Up, or Start Over.
I refused to be a victim, so if not for me, then for my unborn child, I made the decision to get to the root of what led me to continue making the same “mistakes” repeatedly in my life.
Because alcoholism had played a big role in my relationships, I began the healing process in a 12-step recovery program that helps people who are affected by someone else’s drinking. It was in this program that I learned that I did not cause, could not cure, and could not control the alcoholic people in my life. Through a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself, I began to tear down the layers of pain I had been using as a shield for my entire life.
Along the way, I sought many different forms of natural healing modalities, and ultimately was led to a book called The Emotion Code, by Dr. Bradley Nelson. I purchased the book in July of 2017 and did not read it until January of 2019. (Side note-I am a Gemini and get distracted very easily. Because of this, I will, at all times, have three or four half-read books.)
From the moment I began reading The Emotion Code, I couldn’t put it down. I felt drawn to the information as if it were oxygen. I knew in that moment, that my life’s purpose was to use this modality to help myself, and eventually others, heal. I didn’t waste a moment. I enrolled immediately in the certification program and used every spare moment working toward my certification, attending seminars, watching webinars, devouring every bit of information I could find. I received my certification in March of 2019 and have been practicing daily, ever since.
Using the Emotion Code and Body Code have helped me in ways I didn’t know were possible. I have been able to break free from limiting core-beliefs, negative programming, and release the heart-wall I had built for protection, which prevented me from fully giving and receiving love. I have been able to forgive those who hurt me, and forgive myself for my part in the choices I made. It has changed my relationship with myself, and allowed fuller relationships with others. I no longer seek others’ approval for my self-worth, and have a cheery, positive outlook on my life.
In September 2020 I began the certification process for The Body Code, which is a next-level healing modality, of which the Emotion Code is a part. I received my certificate on December 3, 2020.
I have seen miraculous changes in the clients I work with, many of whom I’ve never met, and it is my honor and true desire to walk the path of healing with those who seek it.
I have also attained the Second Degree certification in Usui Shiki Ryoho Reiki, and am practicing with clients both locally in my healing space in Houston, TX, as well as distantly.
My Heart-Wall Story
For an explanation of the heart-wall, please see the blog post “Do you have a Heart-Wall?”
I began working with the Emotion Code in January of 2019. Around March it led me to the discovery of my heart-wall.
It was four layers thick, made out of lead (the mental image I saw in my mind’s eye was a bullet-proof vest). Each layer was a different thickness. Some layers had more than 30 trapped emotions, and others, under ten. It took eight sessions to completely remove it and the process itself was extremely personal and eye-opening. With each layer being removed, I could feel the difference in the way I viewed the world.
Literally, colors were brighter, faces were smiley-er, birds sang sweeter.
During my final session, I released many trapped emotions from very early in my life, with the final emotion being creative insecurity from the age of two.
Immediately I felt the release of something that had been holding me back from truly experiencing the joy that this life holds. I knew intuitively it was the last remaining emotion because of the rush of unconditional love that swept over me, and the tears began falling, and the loud sighs and weeping and wailing escaped from the center of my soul. The only other time I had felt anything similar was when I first laid eyes my son, moments after his birth as he was placed into my arms.
Since the release of my heart-wall I have found traffic to be less stressful, arguments less necessary, and relationships more meaningful. More than anything, I learned self-love, self-care, and most importantly, my self-worth.